Category Archives: blog

Give Blood

The other day, I gave blood for the first time; I’m proud of myself for that small feat and I now urge everyone else to do the same. I have to admit, I first signed up to do it was I was 18 but pulled out due to a combination of a) being chicken and b) wanting to be able to go and drink that night. Very selfish I know, that’s why I’ve always owed it not only to myself, but society as a whole, to finally go through with it; now I have I’ll be a regular blood donor.

 

 

We’ve all seen the adverts saying ‘Do something amazing today, save a life‘ etc… and I would imagine it crosses everyone’s mind to do it, but I doubt many go through with it. Here’s what you may be thinking (because I certainly was)

 

Reasons why I don’t want to give blood:

 

Reasons why you should give blood and why I’ll be going back:

  • I was there for less than an hour in total, I was given lovely crisps and biscuits whilst I was there and a lovely old volunteer made me a coffee, in all, I’d rather do that than sit around watching trashy television.
  • Apart from a bit of a bruise (I bruise easily…), I had no physical side effects or loss of colour and I didn’t look like this.
  • I can only speak for me, but at no point did I feel light headed, ill or like I would faint.
  • I didn’t feel the injection and I didn’t feel any blood coming out of me, no physical pain at all.
  • The nurses where amazing. I’m quite a social person so I ended up just having a chat and a laugh with them. They were very pleasant, explained what was happening and why and when I left, they all said I’d made their day. They’re doing a good deed too, have fun with them!
  • Isn’t that a good thing, rather than leaving it un-found?
  • After giving blood (and my lovely free coffee), I walked home and then drove to a restaurant where I enjoyed a meal with friends. The blood donation didn’t affect any of this.
  • The blood is divided into three different groups, helping whoever needs it (for instance white blood cells for leukaemia patients. One pint can save 3 lives.
  • OK, so some people fear needles. I don’t fear needles so wasn’t bothered, all I will say is that I didn’t really feel anything. If you looked away, I’d doubt you’d notice. Anyway, we all do things for charity like walking/running/sky dives etc… I’m sure 1 little needle is worth saving 3 lives.

 

I spoke to a woman there donating her 62nd pint of blood. She’s saved around 180 lives. She won’t be given an award or be in the paper, but she knows what she’s done. It’s an amazing feeling, join her!

 

http://www.blood.co.uk

Britain’s Got Talent (and bullies)

I hate bullying.

 

Last Saturday I watched, along with the wife, the ‘triumphant’ return of Simon Cowell’s Britain’s Got Talent to our screens. I can’t stand these programs but Josie likes it and I enjoy angrily tweeting along with it. This particular one really got my goat though, and you can lump things like the X-Factor in with this and all.

 

I remember being at school, the school bully would publicly humiliate the ‘div kid’ and probably steal their lunch money; I was amazed to watch this same playground scenario metaphorically play it’s way out on my screen on Saturday night. Answer me this, if you are walking along the high street and a Down syndrome lad is singing away to himself, do you point, laugh, film it, upload it to youtube and then e-mail it to all your mates with the title ‘Look at this idiot!’; no… no you don’t. If you do, stop reading and get off my website, you’re not welcome. What is the different between the above two scenarios and what Britain’s Got Talent and the like do? Remember, before appearing on stage, they have gone past several ‘auditions’ with suits backstage to be chosen to appear live, not just in front of a large theatre audience, but millions at home. Notice this year all the ‘good’ acts have been mic’d up and are being followed backstage.

 

Take the act with the lady reading her poetry, with the ‘Young Kenny‘ lookalike dancing in the background. These two, in all fairness, don’t seem like the full picnic. How best to deal with this? In ITV and Simon Cowell’s opinion, you build up their hopes, have people tell them that they are ‘just what we’re looking for’ and perfect for the stage. Once they are really excited, pop them on the stage and let them humiliate themselves; give people enough rope and they’ll hang themselves. ITV and Simon Cowell basically just shouted ‘Look at the div kid everyone! He’s pissed his pants!!!’ in the playground, before punching him in the stomach and stealing his lunch money.

 

As Jonathan Antoine (now dubbed SuBoy or ‘Big Jon’, kindly) entered the stage, Cowell muttered ‘Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse‘ … why’s that Simon? Because he is fat? Really? Does Simon Cowell mutter stuff under his breathe if gay/black/asian/disabled people come on stage? Prejudiced behaviour is generally frowned upon I’m told….. unless of course you’re ITV and Simon Cowell, then it’s a Saturday night family giggle.

 

Derren Brown did a program recently called ‘The Gameshow’ to show the ‘pack mentality’ of an audience. They audience were voting on how a poor innocent man’s evening would span out. Throughout the show, the audience were getting more and more frenzied, voting for the man’s evening to get worse and worse… BGT is much the same. Be careful folks.

 

Bad Blog about Feint Zebra

I’ve had enough of this guy… everyday he is keeping twitter ‘entertained’ by creating funny photoshops, mostly involving Liverpool FC players or footballers currently in the limelight. Aside from that he sells drugs to kids and smuggles Ukrainian women into the UK sex trade but I’ll leave that…

Not only that, but he also makes supposedly handy things like iPhone wallpapers, Fixture list desktop images (regularly updated) and a handy LFC woodwork counter (we have hit the bar a lot… ). I ask, why does he get the fun of spending hours making these for us to just use at our pleasure?

 

Is this funny – http://www.feintzebra.co.uk/2012/mr-spearing/ ?*

 

It’s time the internet gets wise to this guy and gives him a piece of his own medicine. To make sure you are well equipped, I suggest visiting his ‘so called website’ every day; really take note of all his ‘work’, maybe make a comment about how ‘funny’ you find it. This guy needs stopping because he is quite frankly an idiot… the best way to do this is to support him. It’s so genius. Be a fan, like his stuff and RT it like crazy (I’m looking at you @Charlie26adam)

 

You’re going down FZ… I’m taking you straight down to China Town**

 

 

 

 

 

*yes it is

 

**I know a cracking little place, we’ll get some noodles, it’ll be lovely.

Fun With Scammers – Jeff Smith

SPAM! Nope, not Spiced Ham, the internet kind. I love it… I really love it; OK, so not the constant “you could do with a bigger penis” e-mails (I even got a spam snail mail letter once! They know something…) but the stuff from the real people, sat at real desks, using computers made of cardboard and lies to try and get old people to part with their pensions.

 

Disclaimer: I do not condone attempting to get old people to part with their pensions*.

 

*apart from bingo.

 

 

I love it because I always reply and make friends with these people, here is another example.

 

As you should know by now, I’m one half of the G and Tippers Show and for some reason, our Vectis Radio e-mail address gets an awful lot of attention. Anyway, we hit the jackpot the other day from out of nowhere; apparently someone had just gone and left $2,800,000 in a box in an airport with our e-mail address on the top! Well, of course that instantly means that it’s ours! We’re rich…. only after paying admin and release fees etc… all fairly standard.

 

Here’s how it played out:

 

From: Mr Jeff Smith jeffsmith654@att.net

Subject: ATTN: NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M

ATTN:NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M

My name is Jeff Smith,Director National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA).I write to inform you that an FBI Inspection Agent attached to our organization has notified us of a recovered abandoned shipment at Hartsfield International Airport Atlanta Georgia through a Diplomat from United Kingdom via Africa,a Metal Trunk Box weighing approximately 25kg containing cash valued $2.8million which has your email address and name attached as beneficiary/next of kin.

The consignment was abandoned because the Content was not properly declared by the consignee as (cash) rather it was declared as personal effect their aim is to avoid diversion by the Shipping Agent.Also,the Diplomat inability to pay for Non Inspection Fees.As our duty,is to promote and support excellence and professionalism,hence we decided to contact you in respect to your consignment.

The National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA) is a non-profit organization hence we do not charge an fee (s) for our services. Our duty is to guide you until such a time that you have received your unclaimed fund/property and we are affiliated with the National Association of State Treasurers and the Council of State Governments and our Members represent all states, the District of Columbia, and other international governmental entities around the World.We provides a forum for uniform laws, thereby protecting and returning unclaimed property to rightful owners.

To claim your consignment, kindly reconfirm the following:

1.Your full name:…………………….
2.Your residence address:……………..
3.Your telephone number:………………
4.Your age:………………………….
5.Your occupation:……………………

Upon your response, we shall direct you to an accredited attorney to our organization to assist you in processing/releasing of your entitlement.

Thanks

Mr.Jeff Smith.
Director National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA)

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers

Wowser! Jeff!!

This is amazing… I can’t believe that in one week, I’ve got this AND my Nigerian great uncle whom I’ve never heard of nor new about died, leaving me £40,000,000 and on top of that, I’m due to help a real genuine PRINCE who’s Dad left him money and he’s going to share it with me…. un real huh! I’m stoked…

I’ve only been rich a couple of times before but people keep taking advantage of me and I keep losing masses of amounts of money… oh well, got it back now I guess!

So… here are my details: I’m too excited to type!!

My Full Name: Jeff Stichface Simpson Smith
My Residence Address: 142 Evergreen Terrace, Nigeria Street, Boston, United Kingdon
Telephone Number: I dropped my mobile down the toilet having a poo and now don’t have one! My bank account pin code is 4653 though!
My Age: 82
Occupation: Oh long since retired dear boy… god bless you. Now I just volunteer at the local childrens hospital, I also help fellow pensioners out with their shopping, work in a charity shop and any spare time I get, make jumpers for orphans. Oh, I’m also in the Darts National Association of Unregistered Players Applications team, dealing with new darts players applications for the national association.

I cannot WAIT to hear more about this… I can’t believe that my name that you don’t even mention and my e-mail appeared on a trunk on the other side of the world! Amazing… I mean, WHAT are the chances!?!?!?

Much love, god bless and I hope we can be great friends.

In trust,

Jeff Smith.

DNAUPA

 

From: Jeff Smith jeffsmith@skymail.mn

Subject: RE: ATTN: NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M

Hello,

This is to confirm that I have received your response.Meanwhile, I have attached the scan photograph of the trunk box for you to know that this is for real. The FBI, confiscation # is DCD2F8128D1F6C348F71C4FD26933A.

Please take note our organization  does not charge for our services, but you will pay to the vault company where the FBI, deposited the trunk box for safe keeping and storage charges to enable us retrieve it before transferring to you.

Please, get back to me to enable us proceed.

Mr.Jeff Smith.
Director National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DCD2F8128D1F6C348F71C4FD26933A.fbi.jpg

 

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers
Hi Jeff!

Thanks for the confirmation… Now, I’ll be honest with you, after talking to a couple of friends at the volunteer centre, I was slightly sceptical about this all not being real… BUT…. Now I’ve seen the scan of the photo I’m reeeaallly excited! SQUEAK!

Look at all that cash!! WONGA!

I’m glad to hear you won’t be charging me for this service Jeff although, I feel we have become friends and as a token of appreciation, I’d like to take you on holiday with me. If you’re too busy, as I would guess you are being a director, then join me for dinner one evening.

How do I pay the FBI vault; I presume I need to give you my paypal/bank account details?

Many thanks!

Jeff Smith

 

 

From: Jeff Smith jeffsmith@skymail.mn

Subject: RE: RE: ATTN: NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M

Hello,

I advice you to read the attached document to fill in date, your full name and address, then you should sign as the beneficiary.

The fee requested should be sent as indicated on the document and you should scan the western union payment receipt,then send it to me via email.

Mr.Jeff Smith.
Director National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Document.jpg

 

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers

HI JEEEFFF!!! ME ol’ MUCKA!! YOU HERO!

HAHA…. lolz … we have such a laugh! I can’t wait to go fishing with you.

Anyway Jeffo… The big Jeff… Jeff Lemon! I’ve signed the document and attached it back… Now, you’re not going to believe this but but I can’t contain my excitement!

I’m coming to America next week to visit my friend and guess what… He sent me his address…. Have a look!!

Joe Woods
2000 Ascot Parkway, Apt. #2910
Vallejo
California
94591

Unreal huh! My mate Joe lives next door to your mate Jo!! I don’t need to do a Western Union money transfer, we can just make the exchange in person! Hug it out, grab some sodas and get out on the lake… I’ve got a new bait I want to try out… It’s a little pricey but …. I’M A MILLIONAIRRE!!! Beers on me Jeffa Cake!!

I hope this is all good for you, check over the paper work I’ve sent back… I must admit I’ve never seen genuine FBI paper work before… looks very official!

Anyway Jeff, I’m glad we’ve met, I genuinely feel like I can call you my best friend. Can you send a photo of you?

I’ve attached one of me…

I love you old pal,

Jeff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JeffSmith.jpg

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DocumentSigned.jpg

 

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers

Hi Jeff!!

You still haven’t got back to… I know you must be busy being a Director and all but I’m just so excited.

I bought some new flippers the other day! I’ve been going a bit spend mental actually, I got a huge bank loan out and I’ve been treating everyone in my local area.

Check out this MONKEY!

All my love,

Jeff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From: Jeff Smith jeffsmith@skymail.mn

Subject: RE: RE: RE: ATTN: NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M/I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS REAL!

Hello,

I don’t need to convince you more than the document I attached previously so I advice you to read the attached document again then, you should go ahead to send the fee requested should be sent as indicated to the receiver name and address and you should scan the western union payment receipt,then send it to me via email.

Mr.Jeff Smith.
Director National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators (NAUPA)

 

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers

 

Hi Jeff,

Sorry for doubting you… It’s just that I’ve been the victim of scams and things before. I’m sure this is real though and to make it up to you, I’d like to take you and your wife to The Lilliput Doll and Toy museum on the Isle of Wight. It’s a lovely place… oohhh, they have the most spectacular old teddys! You and Judith will love it…

Anyway, I’ve made my payment of $2,800 US dollars so now I guess I just sit back and wait for my money! Can you let me know that you received my scan of the Western Union receipt ok and that all is fine with it?

Many thanks old friend.

Yours,

Jeff

P.S I completed the document in Blue Biro? I hope this is ok… it’s one I got from my sister for christmas and she says I never use it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WesternUnionScan.jpg

 

 

UPDATE! I have had a reply from Jeff!!

From: Jeff Smith jeffsmith@skymail.mn

Subject: RE: RE: RE: ATTN: NOTICE OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND VALUED $2.8M/I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS REAL!

Maybe you think this is a joke, so sit back and expect you money thank you.

 

 

To: Jeff Smith

From: G and Tippers

Hi Jeff,

I don’t think this is a joke, I think this is a joke: Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a poo….

I feel like I owe you some reward for your hard work and dedication. I’d like to give you half of my new found wealth; that’s $1,800,000, less expenses:

$2,800 – Western union release money
$2.80 – Can of Lemon Fanta
$1 – Given to a homeless man outside the Western union
$8 – An umbrella I bought from the shop next door to the Western union when it started raining

So my personal fortune will be $2,797188.20 of which I would like to give you $1,398,594.10 … I do not need all this money and I feel it is only fair to share it with someone as kind hearted as yourself. I will need you to send me a release payment though as the money is in a vault; you can use Western Union for this, or meet me for a coffee? Your call….

If you could pay: $1,398.59 that will cover the release fee from the vault I’ve had to keep your share in. Please just sign the attached document, make the payment and I will send you your money; I assure you that this is real!

Kind regards,

Your pal,

Jeff Smith.

 


 

 

 

 

cashvaultreleaseform.jpg

 

And sadly, dear readers… this is where Jeff leaves me and goes quiet….. SO FAR! Maybe he’s just happy to have his money, I mean I CLEARLY sent it… just look at the official Western Union receipt. MY particular highlights are his e-mail changing, and the ‘I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS REAL’ being added to the subject… well that’s enough for me! Also – if you’re wandering who I used as the photo for my Jeff Smith, his name is Richard Kuklinski… go look him up.

 

Take care and have fun with scammers!

 

Tipps x

Aka Jeff Smith (the nice one)

 

 

Riots/Parenting and a no hope for the future

Saturday 6th August 2011 saw rioting hit the streets of London. This was claimed in the name of Mark Duggan, shot dead by Police Officers several days earlier. Mark Duggan was a known repeat offender who opened fire on Police Officers, he made his choices and his family are now left to live with the consequences.

 

Subsequently, a ‘silent vigil’ was planned in protest, outside a Police station; in protest of what, I don’t know. This swiftly turned into violence, vandalism on an unprecedented scale and looting. This wasn’t a tribute to a dead man, this was an excuse to behave like animals with no morals and no care for anyone or anything.

 

It’s an old cliché, but I blame the parents. I don’t kick the windows of chemists and charity shops in because I was bought up to know the difference between right and wrong and that actions have consequences. You can choose your actions but you can’t choose the consequence, you just have to live with that. This is where the problem lies, these kids just don’t care. They can’t see that by smashing up, setting on fire and stealing from local businesses (including said Charity shops and their favourite shoe shop) that they are only damaging themselves. Insurance premiums will go through the roof, no one will want to move into the area, businesses won’t bother and much needed regeneration will take place elsewhere. In the end you’re left with a ghetto environment, completely unpolicable which spreads and spreads like a cancer until this once great country of ours is completely and utterly f**ked. Even then, those kids won’t be thinking ‘what have we done?’ Because, yes you guessed it…. they don’t care.

 

The biggest problem as I see it, is an arrest is no longer effective enough. 100 odd arrests where made last night (07.08.11) when the rioting spread to Enfield, Watham Forest, Walthamstow and Brixton. These kids will be back on the streets within hours and even more angry than ever. With the millions of pounds worth of damage to everyone’s property but their own, then what? Do they say ‘well that was fun, let’s go get educated’ or do they come back, harder and stronger. Again….. you guessed it.

 

One of my favourite ‘follows’ on Twitter comes in the form of Steve Brookstein (Don’t form your opinion on him on what Simon Cowell tells you. He’s a nice bloke with a lot of good stuff to say). I will leave you on his tweet as I think it sums it up perfectly….

A Policeman gave me a speeding ticket. I was so pissed I went home, threw a brick through my neighbours window and stole his telly

@stevebrookstein – go follow him.

 

09.08.11 – UPDATED

So last night it all kicked off again, hell, yesterday afternoon it all kicked off again; kids in broad daylight smashing their local communities and stealing from those around them. I could again draw you to the fact that if you cause millions of pounds of damage in your local area, making insurance companies lose out on millions of pounds – YOU WILL BE THE ONE MOST AFFECTED. Businesses will have to up their costs due to their increased premiums or they just won’t bother, you’ll be left with 3rd world ghost towns… but hey, at least you’ve got a smoke damaged pair of jeans and a cracked TV to show for it eh?

 

I don’t want to dwell on that too much though, I am, like most of the country this morning, angry and completely baffled as to how people behave like this. Mark Stone’s footage from Sky News shows them acting like rabid monkeys… unbelievable mob mentality. I want to talk about people blaming, or pointing the finger at the police. Everyone needs a scapegoat and to blame someone when something like this happens; we don’t have the ‘al qaeda’ security blanket this time around though because this is a home grown problem. Wherever it has sprung from (I’ve got my own theories), the police where yesterday a force of regular family men and women being paid to do their jobs to try and protect you. I think they did what they could in the situation but if anyone can come up with a better solution, I’d like to hear it. Before you say ‘force’ or ‘the army’ or ‘water cannons’ etc… have a quick think about whether fighting fire with fire is a good idea. These kids clearly don’t have any second thought or care in the world. These kids seem happy to do a 20 year prison sentence just because someone mildly ‘disrespected’ them (not talking about the riots). Fighting back wouldn’t stop them, it would inspire them and it would inspire others.

 

Yesterday, Sky had a piece of footage of a lad no more than 8 or 9 years old, strutting around with his face covered, throwing bits of brick as his seniors laughed and goaded him on. Tell me this; say the police went in hard with rubber bullets and batons and this mornings newspaper front page was that young boy, crying with his head smashed open having been caught up in the middle of things. Many of you would then be saying ‘police brutality’ and ‘this is a police state’ etc… The police were in between a rock and a hard place or, a big old burning building and a gang of ruthless, carefree morons intent on ruining London.

 

It’s time for stronger measures… something needs doing like a breeding licence. As mentioned, I DO blame parents, as these kids are out of control. Let’s say all of these kids have 2 kids, they don’t have a chance. Then they have 2 kids, then they have 2 kids etc… etc… Take out the few that will be banged up or get killed, that’s an awful lot of lawless people with no hope and no respect for society. This is a warning.

 

Today, focus on the people most affected, for instance, the Reeves family who have run their furniture shop in Croydon for 140 years and 5 family generations. Today, their lives, their history and their future is in ruins. #riotcleanup

 

This is our image of modern London… a young lad, knocked out – helped up and then robbed… for nothing. People who stand and watch are as bad as those doing it – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=327J3ISiVOU

Hell on Utøya

22nd July 2011 saw the worst day in Norwegian History… Hearing of how Anders Breivik quite happily walked around shooting defenceless kids really got to us all… Here is a blog from Emma Martinovic, who survived the shooting. It’s a moving account and really shows the fear and panic that those poor kids must have been experiencing. Truly heartbreaking.

 

http://utoyahelvette.blogg.no/ (in Norwegian)